When the people saw
that Moses delayed to come down from the mountain, the people gathered
themselves together to Aaron and said to him, “Up, make us gods who shall go
before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of
Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.” (Shemot / Exodus 32:1; ESV)
Years ago, I
was talking to someone and said to them that I suffered from a lack of faith.
That’s quite a confession for someone who calls himself a “believer,” seeing
that biblically, belief and faith are the same thing, as is trust. Whatever the
correct terminology, I was seeking to sum up my life struggles by acknowledging
unbelief. My friend said “No, your trouble is lack of patience.” I think they
were right. It’s not that I have never struggled with faith; it’s that my
impatience has caused me unnecessary trouble time and time again.
I hate
waiting! I can’t remember a time when I felt differently. Whether I am
suffering, dreading a potential problem, or even anticipating something fun and
exciting, I find the waiting process awful. I remember the first time I met
someone who found more pleasure in the anticipation of an event than in the
event itself, it was like meeting a visitor from another planet. How can anyone
enjoy anticipation, when it makes me sick! It took me a while before I realized
that I had a problem, a big problem.
The people
of Israel camping out at Mt. Sinai vividly demonstrate for us how serious a
lack of patience can be. Moses was away for over a month meeting with God. Even
though Moses, a person who had proved to be so trustworthy, said he was coming
back, they couldn’t handle what they took to be a delay in his return. I don’t
blame them for how they felt. Of course I don’t, I can so relate! Being in a
hostile environment, journeying into the unknown, having no clue when their
leader would return, they were likely overwhelmed by their uncertainty and the
waiting.
Patience is
the ability to endure the pain of waiting, an ability they certainly lacked.
But that’s not where they went wrong. Their sin was not in the pain of waiting,
but in their turning to other gods. Their real problem was their lack of faith,
which was exposed by their impatience.
The
distinction between patience and faith is an important one. I wonder how many
people are like me, especially in thinking that we are struggling with faith,
not patience. Properly understanding this distinction can help us overcome this
problem.
Those of us
who suffer from the pain of waiting need to come to grips with the fact that so
much of life is a process. Seeds are planted a long time before the plants
produce fruit. Babies and other living creatures need a period of gestation
before being born, hatched, etc. Maturity takes time. Projects require design
and development. None of these common processes are due to sin. God invented
process. God created time. Getting used to the reality of process over time is
a first step in learning to be patient, to not get offended when we experience
delay, short- or long-term.
Where my
friend may not have been quite correct by saying that my problem was lack of
patience, not lack of faith, is that they didn’t acknowledge how faith and
patience are connected. While it has been helpful for me to realize that I have
difficulty waiting, at the root of this is a lingering doubt over God’s general
inclination toward me. For if we realize that God is in control of our lives,
that he truly loves us, and his intentions toward us are always good, then when
we experience delay, when we need to wait, when we cannot immediately see how
our problems will be resolved, we can take comfort in God. Impatience
therefore, serves the purpose at times to reveal foundational flaws in our
basic relationship to God.
Some people
are afraid to pray for patience, thinking that God will bring them into the
kind of difficult situations that require it. Whether or not we need to pray
such a prayer, God will bring us into those situations anyway. We, like the
people of Israel, will find ourselves where waiting a moment longer seems to be
the most impossible thing ever. Whether our problem is lack of faith or patience,
the solution is always the same. Don’t give up on God; because he will never
give up on you.
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